Being Single and Dating in Your 50's....Oh, the Pitfalls!
When I became single in March of 2006, after ending a 10 year relationship with the man I thought was my "soul mate", dating again was the last thing on my mind! Those 10 years had not been all bad, but a major portion of them had been horrible as I watched a person I loved go through the "throes of drug addiction", and if anyone has experienced a loved one go through addiction, well, then you know how it can also eat away at the spirit and soul of the sober partner.
So, I have spent the last 7 years getting to know who Deborah(me) is.....and let me tell you something right here....boy, did I have a lot of learning to do. I had lived for so long all consumed trying to do what ever it took to "help him" that I had forgotten how to help myself! Do you remember the movie with Julia Roberts...The Runaway Bride.....where towards the end of the movie she has a whole counter of eggs:
And, she is tasting all the different ways to make eggs...JUST to find out what is truly HER favorite! Well, that was me!
Flash forward to 2013, and I have been single all these years....yes,no dating what so ever. Have had wonderful children, siblings, and many friends who have helped me live happily through these years, and of course, myself. And, then about 2 months or so ago, while all of us neighbors were sitting outside under our beautiful Oak tree, it dawned on me and that of the men and I were making eye contact....needless to say, the flirtation was mutual. We have been fast friends...enjoying each others company.....non-intimate, because I had told him i wanted to take it slow, and that seemed fine with him.
Then this past weekend, due to some some serendipitous moments, I found out that in the past 4 days, he had landed another neighbor of mine...and was planning on stringing us both along! Well, after a couple hours...my anger was gone...yes, there was still alittle left...but the,majority was gone...I realized I was better off. But, it made me think about this whole dating thing late in Life....I survived....and just hope that IF the next time dating comes along I will make the better decision, because one thing about getting older....did I just not "see" the few warning signs...or did I just refuse.....I hope that I will truly SEE the next time around...